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A lot of time, energy, and money has been spent trying to discourage illegal drug use, but sometimes experience can be the best teacher.

Reddit user solid2222 asked "What's your best "never do drugs" story?" and received over 3,000 responses. Here are some of the best, and funniest, lessons they shared.

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Broken

I dated a girl who lit up the room with her smile, and was wonderful to be around. Her coworker gave her a few free lines of coke, then offered to start selling it to her.
Within a month, she owed him most of her paycheck by the day she got paid. She'd call me up, crying, because it had been a half hour since she'd done coke and she already couldn't handle the need for more.
I broke up with her, but would see her randomly at club nights or concerts for years...but I never saw her smile once in that time. Coke broke her as a person.

Broken

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Childhood Idol Ruined

I saw a guy dressed like Waldo in a gas station parking lot trying to find little pieces of crack on the ground.

So that's where Waldo is...

No one ever asks "how's Waldo?"

Childhood Idol Ruined
Scary Stuff

Salvia is crazy. The first time I smoked it I saw this dimly lit concrete wall grow leopard print patterns and laughed uncontrollably for four minutes trying to describe it to my friends. The second time I took a bigger hit and everything started to rotate and looked like those photo collages where thousands of tiny images make up one large image (in this case the large image was the real world). Two kids we knew walked by and my buddy told me they were made out of sugar. I wholeheartedly agreed.
On acid and mushrooms you are still very much within your own mind and aware of your own consciousness, but salvia is an insane ego destroying three minute trip through the universe where you may or may not exist. Scary stuff if you ask me.

Scary Stuff
Thanks Bedpost

Shit this is totally a (salvia) thing. I was laying down trying to go to bed thinking I'd gotten screwed because I didn't feel high. Then my bedpost told me to do my homework.

I did my homework.

Thanks Bedpost
More Mushroom Journeys

Same same. Once you spend six hours writing a gibberish will in a spiral, thinking you're going to die, they lose a bit of fun.

More Mushroom Journeys

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Another Bad Trip

My last few acid trips were way too intense. Basically blanked out for maybe hours at a time (maybe minutes) with my thoughts working like one of those stroke infomercials where you see the words blur on the screen and the letters get all mixed up, except it was happening in my thoughts. And I couldn't for the life of me remember what was going on with me, I basically spent hours going what is acid am I on acid what is acid and trying to google it on my phone only to not be able to read the articles forgetting about what I was doing and then repeating the same thing.

Another Bad Trip

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Movie Madness

Convinced myself I had murdered my best friend and raped his wife despite them both sitting in the room talking to me. We had finished a pretty dark movie just before dropping acid and I think it was still pretty fresh in my mind as I came up and peaked.

Movie Madness

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Dodging a Bullet

My ex-wife left me for her meth dealer and then got knocked up by a Juggalo who introduces himself as Jester Thy Unjust.
Don't do drugs, kids.

Just saw Jester's Youtube channel. I think you dodged a bullet there.

Dodging a Bullet
Family Tragedy

Found my younger brother dead in his bed from a heroin overdose.
Don't do drugs, folks.

Family Tragedy

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Seriously, Don't Do Drugs

Four days ago I attended my friend's funeral who overdosed. We met in Narcotics Anonymous.

Seriously, Don't Do Drugs

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Ladies Who Lunch

In high school me and my girlfriend snuck down to my parents beach house a week or two before summer started with a sh*t load of shrooms. The day was pretty pedestrian at first, so we decided to take more than we ever had before and proceeded to get naked and run around the house having a hilarious time...then we hear the front door open. We didn't think anyone was coming down so we, logically, assumed it was a break in and decided to hide in the shower. Turns out it was my grand mom and all her old lady friends coming down for a beach day. They found us (naked and nearly in tears) and my grandma just assumed we snuck away to bang so she was like "I won't tell your parents, you're just being kids, but you have to come to lunch with us." Lunch with 4 old women while tripping balls was not ideal to say the least.

Ladies Who Lunch

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I Think I'm Dead

My room mates and I went out to the clubs one night and a guy I didn't know well tagged along. We smoked some pot, well a lot of pot, before we rolled into the club. The place was packed elbow to elbow and no tables were free; then we grabbed a free table and ordered beers. The new guy wasn't with us. Minutes drag by and we don't see him; I start to worry and ask where he is; nobody cares. After 30 minutes. I get up and walk around looking for him and find him sitting at the end of the crowded bar, alone. I ask him what he's doing and he looks at me with tears in his eyes and says "I'm dead." "What?" "I'm dead. I've been sitting here for hours and no one will talk to me. I asked the bartender 3 times for a beer and he didn't even look at me. People can't see me. Because I'm dead." "Dude, I can see you, right? We're talking now, yeah? I don't think you're dead. Here, I'll get you a beer, and then we'll go back to the table everyone's at." I yelled at the bartender and paid for a beer, steered my new buddy back to our table, and we all had a good time.

I Think I'm Dead

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Stay Sober

First year of college, it's like 1:30 am, and I'm out getting a drink of water from the water fountain in the hallway. Some dude wanders in from the stairwell and asks me if I have any drugs. I told him no, I don't, but also being an innocent, polite child who has never dealt with being asked for drugs before, I tack on a hesitant "Sorry?" to the end. He says "No, that's good, don't do drugs" and then wanders back into the stairwell.

Stay Sober

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Maybe It Was the Leopard Print

I smoked salvia, and a leopard-print chair wouldn't stop insisting that I lay on the ground. Just lay down lay down lay down lay down until finally I did it, to shut up this bossy chair.

Maybe It Was the Leopard Print
Alien Beans

Mate phoned me. There was aliens ejaculating all on his top and face.
Got there and his face and top were covered in cold baked beans. He looked at me with such terror as well.

Alien Beans

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Visible Thoughts

My weird trip was just way too intense rather than bad per say. I could see all my thoughts like some holographic 3d chessboard. I remember watching "fear" get larger and "hunger" shrinking.

Visible Thoughts

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Out of Options

My friend called me to tell me he thought he had a drug problem. We all knew, but I asked him why he came to that realization.
It was because he ran out of veins and shot heroin in his penis vein.

"I have a drug problem, I'm unable to do more drugs and that's a problem."

Out of Options

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Angry Granny

Took a tab of acid on a family vacation. We were at the beach for a week in florida but each year we go to Ichetucknee springs to go tubing. Its a beautiful place with crystal clear water and you tube down a stream for 2-3 hours. Anyways I dropped my acid 30 minutes before we got there and by the time we got there I was on the come up. I spent the first hour and a half snorkeling by myself and having a blast. Around an hour and 45 minutes in my mom made me tie off to my grandmother because she kept falling behind. Fuck. So I was stuck with my old grandmother while tripping dicks. I was able to keep my composure for the most part but right before we got to the end of the stream. I was still tripping pretty hard. (im terrified of snakes) My grandmother screams out of no where and says SNAAAAAKKKE. My reactions were late but I turned around and there it was. A black water snake (probable water moccasin) swimming towards me and granny. I almost fained, no lie, but instead I bailed on the tube and started swimming up stream. I probably looked like a mad man. Apparently it swam up to my grandma and went right by her to get to the other side. The adversity in my situation came when my grandma finally got to the landing point that I had already swam to and she was very angry, and I wasnt responding to her angry very well since I was rolling on acid and im sure i just looked confused and misplaced. She thought I was just drunk because I had been drinking at the beginning of the stream. Anyways, nothing that bad came out of it, but. DONT DO ACID NEAR GRANNY

Angry Granny

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Shadow People

6 months into a meth and amphetamine addiction and do a massive amount in one go.
Spent the night running round these dark woods hiding from shadow people. Literally the worst night of my life crouching behind trees and watching them skulk in the shadows. Lasted about 6 hours.
At one point the bad trip evolved to aliens coming down from the sky to kidnap me.
It was as real and vivid as day. As I hadn't taken a hallucinogen it wasn't expected and I couldn't tell the difference between reality and not reality.
When dawn broke. I walked home crying as I didn't know what was going on.

Shadow People

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Those You Leave Behind

My younger brother died in a car parked in a parking lot. He was sober for a year and relapsed. It killed him.
Seriously. Stay away from heroin. If you know someone that has a problem, help them.

Those You Leave Behind

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Saved by a Fencepost

Pulled over onto the side of the road to huff some Duster. Passed out and had forgotten to put the car into park. Car then proceeded to roll into a very steep ditch and was stopped by a fence post. Fence post probably saved my life because on the other side was a lake.

Saved by a Fencepost

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Drugs Are Hell

I was addicted to cocaine, crank & crystal meth for 23 years. (ages21-44) My last bender lasted 3 months, July 10,2014-October 1,2014, went M.I.A. from my family wandering around Port Richmond/Kensington Philadelphia. Probably spent 20k in all. At 1 point I was awake for 9 straight days. Pus coming out of left tear duct and these phenomenally insane hallucinations, visual and auditory. The creepiest hallucination sounded like a choir of children maniacally laughing for 3 straight days. Lost 38 lbs. I walked into a place called The Rock which is a ministry for the down and out. Stayed with a guy there for 6 days then went to a rehab for 6 months. A rehab that deals with you on a purely spiritual level. I had been to regular 28 day rehabs 5x over 13 year period and I.O.P. rehab another 5x in between. This last rehab everything clicked and my life has been completely different and my life is changed. Sober for 3 years now and I'm almost 49. Used drugs for almost 30 years overall. I have seen almost every bad thing 1 human can do to another. People murdered (shot,stabbed,beaten), od's, assaults, brain matter, bone, ruptured eyeball, ear torn off, tip of a nose bitten off..just horrendous shit. Life is good now. I am content and happy. An absolute zero desire to ever use drugs again. That feeling has never lasted more than 60 days in the past. Amends have been made and more to be made in the future. Anyway drugs are hell on earth.

Drugs Are Hell

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Not A Hallucination

My friends and I decided to do acid and go mingle with drunk people at the college bars. We began talking to some drunk guy in the closed off street for awhile, but his face started to freak me out and I said, "Sorry we have to go. Your face is melting." I thought it was honestly just the acid, having done it tons of times before, until I looked at my friends. They were mortified. Apparently the guy we were talking to had horrible chemical burns on his face and I wasn't hallucinating it.

Not A Hallucination

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Furniture Frolic

My furniture all talked to me when I did salvia too. It all stood up and started leaving my bedroom, singing "we're going on a journey, we're going on a journey!" But I got really freaked out and yelled at it to stop and ended my trip prematurely. I still wonder about where they were all going...

Furniture Frolic
Unexpected Trip

I once bought a quarter of mushrooms because I was going to do them with a friend of mine. We would each take an eighth, one half at first, then the other half hours later, as we were known to do. Anyways, I start munching on them and my friend bails last minute. So over the course of probably 10 hours I ate all of it by myself and went on on a Facebook tangent about Mark Zuckerberg being the second coming of Christ. Then I go outside and play in the snow thinking it was raining diamonds, then I go to the bathroom and proceed to walk around in circles losing my mind. Shapes and textures were starting to manifest on the walls and they started spinning, but I was having a great time just geeking the fout. Then I found an ingrown hair on my tummy-tum and decided to pop it. Well, this is where the shrooms turned on me. I had gotten it out, but I was convinced there was more. So I kept at it until I saw what looked like a worm come out and start wiggling. Then I felt this really hot flushing feeling come over me and start coursing through my veins. I immediately started to panic. So I ran upstairs to my room and laid on my bed looking for the mellowest music to listen to to maybe calm me down. I chose Coldplay. The red sheets I was laying on started to seem like a blood red sea that I was sinking into and I was getting really hot, so I stripped butt naked and opened the window. This wasn't cooling me down, so I start to actually lean out the window all the while thinking "I'm like one of those f'd up statistics where people take too much psychedelics and jump from windows". The sun was starting to come up and it made the trees look like they were on fire. I kept trying to tell myself that it was a bad trip, shrooms won't kill you, and that I was going to be alright. Not working. So instead I sat in corner and rocked myself to sleep saying "Jesus is love" over and over and over. I don't even believe in God. Then I passed the f___ out and swore off shrooms for years. I've done them a few times since, but now I just nibble. I'm terrified of having an intense trip again. I haven't done them for like 2 years and probably won't do them again. That one bad trip kind of ruined psychedelics for me, which sucks, they're a lot of fun.

Unexpected Trip

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Lost Dimension

Smoked salvia and I turned into a 2D cardboard human and everything around me was 2D. Pretty crazy to lose a dimension for 10 mins. Salvia is no joke.

Lost Dimension

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Pierogie Killer

Had a few friends trip on acid one night when someone's parents were gone. This guy's stove elements are always red, which is a silly design choice, but an important one. Buddy wanted to scare another guy so he slammed his hand down on one of the other burners as they were making perogies, making him think he burnt his hand. Suddenly, the guy goes blank and goes into a full on bad trip, he was convinced everyone else were cops trying to catch him for killing all of his friends in a perogie fire. Ran out of the house banging on neighbors garage doors yelling for help. Luckily nobody saw him and one of the other guys was able to get him back inside and calm him down, but this occurrence has convinced me I'm probably fine without doing acid.

Pierogie Killer
Train Trip

I took a tab of acid on a train from DC to Pittsburgh as I was headed back to school. At the time it seemed like a great idea, but it turned out to be really stupid. I get REALLY energetic when I drop acid and need to move around, and of course you get super sweaty and dehydrated. Other than watching everything move by me in slow mo it was a pretty miserable 3 hours. I felt bad for the person sat beside me because I couldn't stop getting up out of my seat to move around, and since I have green eyes my massive pupils were SUPER obvious.
A few months later I dropped acid on a plane...also not one of my brighter decisions.

Train Trip

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Another Life

A friend of mine went to a music festival with a different group of friends. One of those guys did DMT and passed out for about 7 minutes. He woke up freaking out because apparently while he was out, he lived an entire lifetime as a mayan boy/man.... lemme repeat myself.. he lived and ENTIRE lifetime as another human being from another time and place. He described waking up, going about his day everyday. He slowly grew up, found a wife, had kids... all that. Then we just woke up. He was kinda depressed for a few weeks apparently. stuff is just nuts

Another Life

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Brothers

I remember talking to my dad one night a few years after my uncle died of a heroin overdose when I was young. My dad had some pretty crazy stories from his childhood, and he and my uncle were the closest two in age out of a very large family. My dad always tried to keep his language and stories clean around my siblings and I, but after several stories of the two of them as kids, he just sat back and said, "That bastard killed himself."
I only got it second-hand, but seriously, don't do drugs.

Brothers

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