Share

"That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."

Those words, uttered by Neil Armstrong as he stepped on the surface of the moon for the first time, are familiar to most of us. Knowing billions of people would be watching their historic flight, NASA had crafted the perfect quote for the first man to step on the moon (even if he did get it wrong). But what if he had said something else?

Reddit user FootThong asked "What's the worst thing Neil Armstrong could have said while stepping on the Moon for the first time?" and over 10,000 responses were received. Here are some of the best of the worst.

Lunar Horror

"What is this? Who are you? Oh God!" Then sound is cut and you never see him again.

Or worse, he comes back seemingly fine and has no recollection of what you were talking about.

Worse yet, only the video was cut. There was a solid 5 minutes of horrific screaming before video comes back on and he has no recollection of any of it.

Lunar Horror
Should Have Had Better Treads on Those Boots

Neil slips off and falls on the ground and says something like "GODF*$%# DAMMIT" while the world is watching him.

Should Have Had Better Treads on Those Boots
Ready For His Close-up

"Cut!"

"Aaaaand scene."

"Did you guys get it? Or do we need another take?"

"Wait, we're live?"

Ready For His Close-up
First Turtle On The Moon

"That's ... one small step for man. One .... shit... f*$#ing hell. I can't get up. Buzz, get the f$#% out here and help me up. (under breath) First turtle on the moon. Good job, a-hole."

First Turtle On The Moon
Captain Obvious

"FIRST!"

Captain Obvious

tunart / Getty Images

Wipe Your Feet

"Oh, it's all sticky!"

Wipe Your Feet
First Settler on the Moon

"F&%$ humans, I am home!"

First Settler on the Moon
"Neil A" Backwards is "Alien"

"My people, I have returned. I have brought with me a prisoner from earth. This moment is being broadcast live to the entire earth. KILL."

Very Punny

"Houston, I'm not sure I like this place. The scenery's nice but there's just no atmosphere... Badum-tish!"

"If you don't appreciate my sense of humor, I do Apollo-gise."

Very Punny
We Are Not Alone

"Some %&@'s footprints are already here."

"What strange looking feet though..."

"The f%&$ was that?!"

(Turns around)

We Are Not Alone
That Sinking Feeling

"One small step for.....HOLY SH*T IS THIS QUICKSAND?!"

That Sinking Feeling

Mark Williamson / Getty Images

Monty, Is That You?

"On second thought let's not set foot on the moon, it's a silly place"

Monty, Is That You?

Mirrorpix / Contributor / Getty Images

Buzz Who?

"There is no problem. We are fine now."
"You and Buzz?"
"Buzz?"
"Yeah Buzz... you and Buzz? Buzz Aldrin? Are you joking? He just went with you to-"
"OH YES! We are fine. He is also fine."

Buzz Who?

Tim Bird / Getty Images

First Man On the Moon, Maybe

"I will put the flag next to the Russian flag."

"Wow, the Vatican City flag is here..."

First Man On the Moon, Maybe

Universal Images Group / Getty Images

Product Placement

Somebody pointed out that he could have said "Boy! I could sure use a Coca-Cola!" and been a millionaire...

Product Placement
No One Can Hear You In Space

"Aw, dude. I just f*%&ing farted in my spacesuit."

No One Can Hear You In Space
Who Knew?

"Sh*t, the earth really is flat."

Who Knew?

George Diebold / Getty Images

Mom Jokes

Armstrong: "Uh Houston you'll never guess what I can see?"

Houston: "Yes Neil, what do you see?"

Armstrong: "Houston I can see your mother's fat a** all the way from space."

Mom Jokes
Cabin Fever

"F&% I'm tired. Thank god we're getting out of that f&%ing sardine can. Oh sh*t. Are we broadcasting?"

Cabin Fever
Alaskan Bull Worm

"Command, we are under attack! Hostile is extremely dangerous!"

"Apollo, what does the hostile look like?"

"I don't know, but it's BIG, SCARY, AND PINK!!"

Alaskan Bull Worm
Moon Over Miami (and Everywhere Else)

Neil missed the perfect opportunity to pull down his pants and flash the camera with his a**.
It would probably have killed him but ya know, moon on the moon would have been epic.

Moon Over Miami (and Everywhere Else)

H. Armstrong Roberts/ClassicStock / Getty Images

A Different Media Age

This is Neil Armstrong from the moon, and before we begin, be sure to mash that like button and subscribe!

A Different Media Age

Peter Dazeley / Getty Images

WE FORGOT THE CRACKERS!

"Houston, you'll never believe this. It's cheese. All of it."

WE FORGOT THE CRACKERS!

Flavia Morlachetti / Getty Images

The Cow Jumped Over the Moon (Almost)

"Hold on, look over there... is that... a Dinosaur bone?"

"No, it's just a cow skeleton."

The Cow Jumped Over the Moon (Almost)

laurien / Getty Images

Neener-Neener

"Finders, keepers; losers, USSR"

Neener-Neener
Not Worth the Trip

"This isn't that great. I think we just wasted a lot of money."

Not Worth the Trip
Uh, oh...

"Why are there so many missiles flying across the pacific right now."

Uh, oh...
Held For Ransom

"And to my right we see a f*%&ing monster."

"Apollo, could you please elaborate?"

"The monster got me. He's got my arm twisted behind my back - I think he knows jiujitsu. He wants you to leave 4 million... 4 million?... no- 5 million Deutschmarks in a paper bag by the Sea of Tranquility..."

"What's that? I don't know, the north shore for f%#&'s sake!"

Held For Ransom
Doggy Bag

"Oh come on, clean up after your dog!"

Doggy Bag
German Space Program

"Heil Hitler!"

camera pans to reveal Nazi moon base

German Space Program

DAVID A. HARDY/SCIENCE PHOTO LIBRARY / Getty Images

  • Next

Add Your Comment

Staff Picks!

People Admit The Weirdest Things They’ve Done While Their Brains Were On Autopilot Surprise Me People Admit The Weirdest Things They’ve Done While Their Brains Were On Autopilot 10.24.2017 By Amelia Mavis Christnot We have our daily routines and sometimes they become second ... 0 comments
People Share Their Most Unbelievable 'Pics Or It Didn't Happen' Moments Surprise Me People Share Their Most Unbelievable 'Pics Or It Didn't Happen' Moments 10.24.2017 By Amelia Mavis Christnot People tell a lot of outrageous stories online, giving rise ... 0 comments
People Expose Red Flags That Scream Surprise Me People Expose Red Flags That Scream "I'm Insecure" 10.18.2017 By Amelia Mavis Christnot We all have our own insecurities, but sometimes we put them ... 0 comments