sightseeing

19 Thoughts Everyone Has While Staying In A Shady Motel

All the hotels in town are booked. You're too tired to continue driving, and you're not about to try and figure out that Airbnb website for the first time at 1:30 a.m. on a Saturday. There's only one option: Stay at the dirty motel on the outskirts of town. Here are 20 thoughts that EVERYONE has when staying at a shady motel. 

  • "I mean, it’s only one night. How bad could it be?”

    "I mean, it’s only one night. How bad could it be?”

    You poor naive soul...

  • “The front desk guy just asked if I want to pay by the hour..."

    “The front desk guy just asked if I want to pay by the hour..."

    Yes, that's a thing. If you didn't know, then you're more naive than we thought...

  • “Finally, in my room!"

    “Finally, in my room!"

    "Time to — GOOD GOD WHAT IS THAT SMELL?! IT'S LIKE AN OLD DIAPER SOAKED IN BLEACH.”

  • “The windows don’t open, but that's probably for the best."

    “The windows don’t open, but that's probably for the best."

    You might jump otherwise.

  • “This TV only plays THREE channels."

    Viacom

    “This TV only plays THREE channels."

    And one is just nonstop Arby's commercials.

  • “At least they give you a free movie."

    “At least they give you a free movie."

    Btw, it's a case-less DVD labelled "Trans4merz" in Sharpie. Awesome.

  • “Wow. That was Definitely not the family-friendly blockbuster 'Transformers.'"

    “Wow. That was Definitely not the family-friendly blockbuster 'Transformers.'"

    "Nobody should ever see what I just saw.”

  • “Maybe they've got room service here."

    “Maybe they've got room service here."

    Probably not. But if they do, they've probably only got week-old gas station hot dogs.

  • “What’s all that noise next door?"

    “What’s all that noise next door?"

    Those DEFINITELY aren't human noises.

  • “OH, so THAT’s why you can pay by the hour here!”

    youtube

    “OH, so THAT’s why you can pay by the hour here!”

    But that only slightly explains the bestial noises...

  • “I really hope this stain on the bed is coffee."

    “I really hope this stain on the bed is coffee."

    Yep. Only coffee. Just very reddish coffee...

  • “There’s no place like home."

    “There’s no place like home."

    But almost any place would be better than this.

  • “If you encased this mattress in glass it would be the world’s finest bed bug museum.”

    “If you encased this mattress in glass it would be the world’s finest bed bug museum.”

    With the proceeds from admission, maybe the motel could buck up for a new mattress.

  • “So glad to be sharing a bed with the entire cast of ‘A Bug’s Life’.”

    Turns out Heimlich isn't as cuddly in person.

  • “What the hell is a wake-up-cigarette?..."

    “What the hell is a wake-up-cigarette?..."

    "...And why did the front desk guy just ask me if I wanted one?"

  • "That kind of sounded like the guy next door getting murdered..."

    "That kind of sounded like the guy next door getting murdered..."

    Either that, or he's watching "Tranz4merz."

  • “I wonder if the guy at the front desk has any coffee."

    “I wonder if the guy at the front desk has any coffee."

    Nope, but he says he can "do you ten better for cheap." Whatever that means...

  • "Oh, they've got free breakfast! That could be good!"

    "Oh, they've got free breakfast! That could be good!"

    Actually, you might want to rethink those gas-station hot dogs.

  • "Damn, I think I left my bag in the room!"

    "Damn, I think I left my bag in the room!"

    NOPE. That thing is garbage now! Time to hit the road and grab a shot or two of penicillin.

Next Page: 17 Innocent Nature Photos That Somehow Look Very Dirty

Comments