10 months ago Reddit user najing_ftw asked Reddit users "What is something you won't tell your friends or family, but you will tell Reddit?" The anonymity of the internet loosened many figurative tongues.
Almost 30,000 comments were left in response. Here are some of the most humorous, surprising or shocking.
All my friends and family know that I've had a few concussions, but what they don't know is that its really affecting my brain.
I can't remember anything. If its not written down, I will probably forget to do it. Its always things I need to do, or stuff I need to get at the store etc, I'm not forgetting names or where I am or anything. I also have a terrible time with getting distracted, like right now. I used to be able to concentrate on a task for hours on end, but now I can get sidetracked so easily.
I play off my forgetfulness as a joke, but its getting worse and I'm getting scared.
Since nobody would even try to believe me when a related topic came up in the outside world, there's these 4 opossums that come to my garage every time I'm in there alone with it open and they act just like domesticated cats until I shoo them out to leave. I have no fucking clue why they're only comfortable with me and don't beg/scour for food, but I named the dominant one Sputnik.
I play D&D. My parents are still on the 'D&D leads kids to Satan and/or witchcraft' bandwagon and threatened to kick me out when I asked if I could try playing it at home. Although, they only know the NAME of the game, not what it actually looks like, so as long nothing I use for it explicitly says 'Dungeons and Dragons,' they couldn't care less.
That my girlfriend killed herself four years ago. They didn't know her very much and just assumed she dumped me when I stopped talking about her. I'm still completely unable to talk about it, and I will probably delete this in a day or two so as to avoid thinking about it when I read my post history.
I once sat through an entire movie without realizing that I had left my car running in the parking lot....
...The movie was Pacific Rim, I liked it. That, combined with my car not getting stolen from the theater parking lot, made that day a pretty good day.
In August I was diagnosed with colon cancer that has spread. I had surgery and am doing chemo but the goal is remission, not cure, I am terminal. My friends and family do not want to hear this. What I don't tell them is that I am scared--incredibly scared and need to talk about this. I am having terrible mood swings which could be the drugs. I'm tired of trying to comfort other people about my illness.
I'm 98.5% certain that my wife cheated on me two weeks ago, and I feel relieved because it means that I can finally get out of this marriage.
Edit: ...I have a lot of people asking for a story or why I haven't left already. I posted it below in response to another comment but I'm just going to copy and paste it here.
It's not that easy to say "Okay I'm done" in a marriage. We've been together for 12 years and married for 1.5. That's 12 years of families coming together, friends coming together, lives changing. It becomes less about you and more about everyone else in your life. I wasn't unhappy, but I wasn't happy. We started counseling a while back and nothing changed at all. Everyone you talk to about being unhappy or not feeling in love says this is a phase of marriage and you get through it. Have kids they say, it's marriage it's forever they say. When you try to talk to your family and friends about questioning what you're doing you get told it's just a phase. So you believe it.
No one knows your wife is emotionally abusive and can make you think every problem is your fault and make you question every decision you made. No one knows that, despite appearances, you're not the perfect couple. Your single friends wish for a relationship like yours. Your married friends wish for a relationship like yours, but none of them are home when the doors are closed. I'm just glad we haven't had kids yet.
So when I got a call from a friend that works with her that she left the bar on business trip with another guy and it was not innocent, then she lied about where she was that night, and I found charges she can't explain on the credit card bill, I sighed. Because I don't have to explain to everyone around me why I'm leaving. I'm not a bad husband who is giving up. She's a bad wife who slept with someone on a work trip.
Don't get me wrong, this hurts. Hurts like nothing I've ever felt before. I feel angry, confused, sad, hurt, broken, betrayed, and scared. How many other times has this happened? How much of a lie is my life? What do I do now? Where do I go? I don't have answers to these questions, but at least I can move on.
So, that's why I couldn't, I guess.
I don't want to play video games anymore. But I feel guilty if I'd quit, because I'd be letting myself down. It's a part of me that I don't want to let go yet....
...I play an MMO which requires regular hours, but I have enough commitments already. I do have a hobby (several, actually) that I really enjoy doing, and I consider gaming to be one of them. I never played videogames much as a kid (strict parents), and I wanted to take up playing an MMO as a hobby now that I have a job, and time. But grinding out items in the end game isn't as rewarding or satisfying irl as I thought. Also, it feels like my mind is in the game all the time. I'm thinking of rotations, planning cooldowns, and figuring out raid schedule in my head at work, and I can't focus on my job.
On the other hand, if I quit then it would be like betraying my younger self. It's like, I have waited my entire life to do this, and I can't even see it to the end? And by the end, I meant until servers shut down.
I love my family.
For some reason I cannot handle saying "I love You" to my parents even though I really do. It carries some strange kind of weight, I feel like it might expose my emotional weakness... and they raised in a way that allows me to handle the world by myself.
...I genuinely hate having to drive 3 hours nearly every weekend to see my family for "planned events". The moment I decline anything I get yelled at. Can't I just be at home, walk around naked, drink beer, and play video games? IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK MOM!?
I married a stranger from Reddit for visa purposes and she has changed my life (in a good way)....
...3 Years ago i was depressed, single and stuck in a rut. I hated where i lived and needed to change something. She made a post on (subreddit name removed at mods request) offering passport exchange. I messaged her with my offer and we got married 3 months later. That was 3 years ago. Turns out we're pretty damn compatible and have sex and everything...
So, we're no longer doing the passport exchange and we have been living in my original country and i no longer have interest in moving to hers. We're moving to Berlin in a few weeks for about a year, then onwards to our final destination, Barcelona.
I've been to so many places i never would have gone to before, and completely transformed my lifestyle. Now i can live with very few possessions and be ultra-portable, whereas before i would have cringed at the thought.
tired of my kids not listening.
tired of my wife's depression/anxiety.
tired of having to clean the house every night. tired of knowing what i should eat and not doing it.
tired of being overweight.
tired of the loneliness. tired of shit at work not working. tired of being worried what other people think about me and my decisions. tired of staring blankly into the computer screen at night avoiding going to bed.
tired of not being happy.
im just tired.
I have repressed around 6 firefights that I've been in, in which I killed people. Like I said, I have repressed the memories and they only came back last year when I spoke to an old military buddy. He was doing the whole "hey, remember when we were in Kuwait and got into that running gun battle with the Republican guards?". I laughed and told him no, that he has me mistaken for someone else. A long silence, then a few more questions about other incidents...then everything came back and hit me like a tidal wave. I cried for a few days after that, and the memories haunt me.
I never want my daughter to know that I am responsible for killing other human beings.
I have been working with a psychiatrist and a PTSD counselor, and it has helped.
They all think im fiscally responsible and am rolling in savings. I've spent all my money and now have almost no savings. I'm moving in a few months and I'm terrified that something is going to come up and I won't be able to afford it and will have to admit to them that I have no money left.
My wife's cooking is, largely, shit. She refuses to learn the basics of working in the kitchen and makes the same mistakes time and again....
...I've tried (cooking with her). She's really, really stubborn and resentful of people especially me who she perceives as trying to change her. She could have a method that causes her to lose a finger and if I pointed that out she'd look me right in the eye and do it her way 10 times.
I'm slowly losing my mind. It's been a very gradual thing over the better part of two decades, but it has reached a point where it's directly affecting my daily life.
I remember in my sophomore year of high school, I took my final without a calculator. I finished 10 minutes before anyone else in the class and got 94% on the test. It went downhill from there. Now I struggle to do basic math in my head. I used to be an avid reader. I'd rather sit in my room and devour a book than do anything else. Now I can't read books. Anything more than a handful of paragraphs at a time and I cannot focus on it. I'll read a sentence, skip the remainder of the paragraph, read the first sentence of the next one, and wonder what happened in between.
I used to memorize near everything. I could recite lectures, movies, songs, books word-for-word. The most minute details were right there in my mind. Now, about a third of the time I'm talking to someone, as soon as the conversation is over I have to ask them to 'run it by me again,' because I've already forgotten what we had just talked about. I am aware we had a conversation, just only the vaguest idea what was said.
It's weird when you can actually feel yourself getting dumber. When you know your mind should be working faster than I is. To be aware that you know the answer, but it's like walking through a pool of jello to get to it, when it previously would be effortless, is both very difficult to accept and very depressing. It's a slow progression. It's taken half my life for it to get to this point, and I don't know if it's going to get worse or not. I don't talk about it with family. Years ago, when I was still in school and first noticed it, I tried asking them for help. They told me to stop making excuses for why my grades were beginning to slip, and then stopped paying for my education because I 'clearly wasn't trying hard enough.' I've honestly never forgiven them for that, and it's the main reason why, until my son's birth, I maintained only a very distant relationship with them. I haven't really talked about it with my wife because I'm not even sure how to. I don't want to be a burden on her or my son, but I don't know what to do about it.
It's just a very strange thing to deal with. The last couple of years, when I've done a lot of introspection and really taken a look at where I am now, have pretty much emptied me of any self-confidence I once had because I can't be certain it's not going to continue to get worse.
I'm doing absolutely horrible in college. Going to school for a CS (computer science) degree. Absolutely love computers, but the math is almost impossible for me. They all tell me how proud they are that I'm in college, so I don't want to let them down. But I just can't do this stuff.
I'm still a virgin at the age of 27, depressed as hell because of it. Family and few closer friends think I'm a charismatic, successful person who has had several relationships behind me. Good looks, positive attitude, great career, sense of style mean nothing if you're a shy, anxious wreck around people you actually like.
I'm terrified of stickers and patterned tape. I don't know why, I don't remember any particular trauma? But they freak me the fuck out. I saw the thumbnail for a video of a guy eating stickers in a dark alley yesterday and I literally almost threw up. This is why I can never work with kids.
I don't...know what to do next... Growing up, the end goal was to graduate high school and get into college. In college, my goal was to graduate and get a job. As an adult, my goal was to save up enough to buy a car and a house. I just accomplished those, and it feels amazing, but last weekend, I was sitting in my new home and thought, What now? I know there are a million possibilities out there, but until I find some sense of direction, I'm now just 'wandering' in life. Or at least that's how I feel. Don't get me wrong, I love my life, but I'm looked at as someone who has their shit together and yet I spend my evenings flipping a coin to decide what to do with my life.
I got voluntarily sterilized years ago. Most of [my friends and family] think I had a problem with a cyst on my fallopian tube (true) but they didn't know that removing them entirely was elective, to remove the cyst AND the chance of pregnancy. Kind of awkward sometimes with the 'You never know!' and 'God works miracles!' talks that their Catholic vantage point tells me (more themselves, really) when I say that I won't be having kids.