Is dating really this much of a crap shoot? Well, readers: You may as well tell us. What do you do to let someone know that you're interested? And how quickly can "interested" turn to "creepy"?
When I want to show someone that I'm interested in them, I usually sweat profusely, and my reflection reminds me that I am little more than a potato with hair (A hairy spud that gets to write for a living, but a hairy spud nonetheless.) Disclaimer: I am oft noted for my facetiousness. If you're looking for tips from experts (Ha!) who successfully showed someone that they're interested, then you need look no further than Ask Reddit. Redditor SG412 got the ball rolling with this question:
I found out he got that RARE game bundle on Xbox. I told to him that Banjo and Kazooie was one of my favorite childhood games (my N64 cartridge was also corrupted so I couldn't play it anymore). So I kept asking to come over after work (and apologize a lot for wanting to hang out) and play it with him, I'd sit right beside him almost very cuddly.
He wasn't really taking the hint, I think it was because we had been friends since grade 8 so he didn't really think much of it, but he thought it was weird that I kept asking and then apologizing to hang out so much. One day I asked him if he wanted to go to the amusement park with me because I got free tickets, he said "sure" and thought nothing of it. Later that night I complain that I'm uncomfortable with my sitting position, to which he replies with "Then find something comfortable I guess." I said "Okay" and landed my head on his shoulder.
That's when everything clicked in his head.
I'm only seeing confident(-ish) girls here!
I do have a guy I may have a crush on (honestly I don't have much experience on actual romantic love), but when I'm near him I'm just freaking out. I start fidgeting and while I can talk to him for hours on social media, in real life my mouth just feels all dry and I can't speak properly. I feel bad, but sometimes I get so nervous that I actively avoid him on some days. Like, I'm hyper-aware of him and his presence, and even if I run into him more than I normally do on certain days then I plan my schedule out to avoid him so he doesn't think I following him or something. He probably doesn't actually care about those kinds of things, but I can't stop thinking about it.
Sometimes I worry if he thinks I don't like him, but I just become so weird around him and I don't want him to see me like that.
Mixed signals, I know. The pains of having a low sense of of worth and self-esteem.
If I say that I like you or suddenly seem hesitant to display my usual level of affection.
I usually hugs and kiss all my friends, tell them I love them, etc. It's when things start to get a little more serious that I hold back on this.
Edit: For those of you unaware, a friendship and a relationship have different boundaries. That's just the way it is. It's okay to tell a friend you love them, but it's not okay for someone you've just recently started dating or just started "courting." You display affection differently with a friend than a boyfriend.
I would spend more time talking and confiding with a friend, but more time listening to a crush.
I would never treat a crush the same as I treat my friends. I dunno if you guys do, but I certainly dont.
I had a huge collection of hats and this girl would take them so that I would have to come back.
Them she said she would trade me for a kiss. I just went home and got another hat.
She eventually got her kiss and I never got my hats. We get married in a couple weeks.
Still no word on the hats
I normally shy away from guys, but if I really like you, I'll try to go out of my way to talk to you about something I can remotely talk to you about.
"Hey, you took an electrical engineering class, and my mom's brother's best friend's mother's hairdresser's workplace caught on fire from a faulty outlet, do you have any idea how that could've happened?"
Are you doing something that sucks and she's still here? Like you took her on a date that bombed, like the theater was closed so you had to drive across town to another theater and then had to wait an hour for the movie you planned to see, so you missed the open times for the restaurant you planned and had to get weird 24 hour diner food and she is STILL here with you smiling and looking at you happily and talking?
That means she's interested.
For me, my actions speak before I even realize but here's some things I noticed about me, may apply to other women IDK.
EDIT: This list of course does not apply to ALL women, and only if all boxes are ticked do I like a guy. I have guy friends I play WoW with, but I won't stay up late to talk to them.
*If I try to feed you (cook or buy food, like a Subway or pizza).
*If I try to get you to play the video game I like.
*If I speak to you for nothing but a conversation or link you a meme to get a conversation going. You aren't asked for or to do anything, except maybe hang out with me :}. If a girl speaks to you then almost instantly asks you to drive her somewhere without you (like a party) then she isn't into you. If she speaks to you then asks if you wanna go see a movie, she may be!
*If I tell you about events I think are cool and totally want to go to.
*If I take an interest in the music/films etc you link to me.
*If I let you get into my personal bubble - this is a hard one to determine. You have to observe a female in her natural habitat (with friends). Does she stand slightly closer to you when talking to you? Does she lean toward you when you sit next to each other? Does she touch you or impede on your personal space unexpectedly? It can be hard to tell with more "touchy feely" people.
*If I'm talking to you way after my bedtime.
Or you could stop looking for signs and just ask :D
At age 21, when I first met my current boyfriend I couldn't figure out how to flirt, So I asked a group of friends if anyone needed a ride to K-mart and then whisper-begged everyone besides him to bail. So he and I went to K-mart alone to get groceries and then we got fries afterwards. I pretended to be really interested in Jones soda. Then I told him I liked Thundercats a lot, which I don't, I'm not sure why I said this.
Two weeks later after numerous stunning displays like these my friend told him I liked him and he said he had no idea.
We have been together for 9 years now.
Once went on a nice 2 or 3 mile run with a girl. She dropped me off at my house and we agreed to meet up at her house when I got done with my shower, told me her backdoor would be unlocked and I could come in. After a my shower I drove up, went through her back door and into her room and chilled on her bed to dick around on my phone. After like 20 minutes she comes out in a towel and says, "Some reason I kept thinking you were going to come get in the shower with me, my door was unlocked." I just looked at her and said, "Naw." Then she looked down at herself in a towel, picked up some clothes out of her closet and walked out angrily. I had the biggest crush on that girl for like 3 years prior and blew my chance. Gotta love highschool.
I am not the greatest at being direct. I'll admit that. We are scared of rejection too!
For me, I will go out of my way to touch them. Typically, a playful shove after they say something funny or a hand graze on their arm.
And eye contact with a smile.
My wife started our relationship when she looked me dead in the eye and said "I can tell you aren't picking this up, so just to be clear, yes I am flirting and yea I do like you. A lot." However same woman gets angry when I don't spot the subtle hints for birthday presents. :/
Always having your back, emotionally and in any other way that is possible, through bad times and good, up to and including both sticking with you and trying to help even when you are being an angry whiny biotch, and going to the hospital with you when you had to go to the ER. Always taking care of and nurturing; home cooked foods, sharing anything I can, doing whatever I can to make sure you have whatever you need. Increasingly obvious depression and agony as none of this is reciprocated.