People Compile An Anti-Bucket List For Things They’ll Never Try Again

Ride motorcycle without enough protection.

Road rash is a b*tch!

Agree to move in together with an unemployed boyfriend.

sighs

oh, early twenties....

I'll never visit a crack house again I didn't even know it was gonna be a crack house and BAM! I don't even do drugs!
"It'll be a great party!", they said. And there I am, sat on a broken sofa in the kitchen. Net curtains soldered to the windowsill with mold. A single depressing red light bulb glowed. A constant throbbing of a booming bass speaker, echoing vibrations through the structure like some sort of, demonic heartbeat of the house. The doors all duct-taped open - even the toilet door. Passed out people everywhere.
Drugs everywhere. High people everywhere. Someone lit a fire in the parking lot out back. And out there beyond the burning furniture I could see a sad gazebo. It was upside down. They never even picked it up. Despite not being high I knew the gazebo was sad. He was next in line for the fire.
I called a taxi. "We don't go down that road."
How did I end up here?
But I got out alive! And I'll never do that sh*t again.

Going to Groundhogs Day in Punxsutawney, PA.

It's cold, miserable, and usually muddy from snow. Nothing like the Bill Murray movie. Also once it's over you wait 3 hours to be bused out. Crossed it off and never again!

Work retail on Black Friday.

My balls were pretty loose one day and I accidentally sat on one.

(Never again) Ouch

Date a girl who cheated with me before getting with me, thinking they would be different while dating me, funny joke.

Attend a timeshare " meeting".

Got suckered into it once in Vegas. Ended up wasting half a day.

Ask my ex to have sex with me.

Go cave exploring. It's too dangerous, in the last place you'd want to get hurt.

Tight squeezes, huge drop-offs. If you should lose your lights, you're entombed.

Ignore all the red flags because of love.

I once ran backwards to see how fast I could go. I learned two things.

1. I can run backwards pretty fast.

2. Breaking your arm in 2 places is not fun.

Buy a house with a history of structural problems, no matter what repairs have been done.

Go to an "interview" for a "job" that's been offered by a stranger who is pretending to be my friend.

F*cking multi-level marketers...

"but it's not multi level marketing though, it's referral marketing!"

Wax.

I hated my chest hair, so I decided one time to get an at-home waxing kit.

Oh boy, that hurt so bad. It had me, a grown man, in tears rolling on the floor ripping those hairs off my chest.

You know what? Honestly, chest hair isn't so bad anymore, now that I think of it.

Tooth extraction without sedation.

The $200 for the gas is the best money I've ever spent.

Drinking to solve problems.

Tends to create more of them.

Pickle Jello Shots. Ever hear of a pickle back? You do a shot of whiskey and then a shot of pickle juice. Amazingly, the pickle juice neutralizes the burn of the whisky. For a picnic my friends were having, I'd thought I'd escalate the experience by making pickle jello. Literally pickle juice and knox gelatin and water.

So we do the shot of whiskey and follow with a carefully chosen square of pickle jello.

Reactions ranged from "oh that's gross" to "hey that's oddly satisfying" to... mine. I didn't get a full bite, the minute my mouth closed around it, my body decided to violently reject it. I spat it out and dry heaved a couple times. My friends were laughing their a** off, since it was my idea. I kept belching as my stomach spasmed. It was SO salty and SO brine-y and my entire body couldn't handle it. My stomach was doing flips hours later. Even just thinking about it is turning my stomach.

Don't... don't do this.

Party with a bunch of cops.

I am not sure how I survived that, but I know why we weren't arrested.

Try to make it work with inconsiderate and irresponsible roommates.

I was so stressed out that my hair started turning white and falling out.

Spin class.

I like cycling, I'm in decent shape, I have weekly gym sessions and I even like most dance music.

But I will be f_cked with a cactus before I take another spin class. Having terrible dance music played at distorting volume while an annoying a-holes shouts directions at me, while I pedal away fruitlessly... f_ck that.

I ate a Carolina Reaper and even made it in a video with the guy who invented it with millions of views and still won't do it again. I spent 45 minutes naked on the bathroom floor at my friends house it hurt so bad.

Go in to credit card debt.

40 year old me finally paid off 23 year old me...

Heroin.

10 years off the sh*t!

Weeee

Tried masturbating with Icy Hot, because it'd be like the Altoid mint bl*wjob thing, right?

No.

No, that is not what it is like.

Keep telling myself that I can and have to handle f*cking everything.

Don't overwork yourself, and don't be afraid to share your worries and sorrows with your friends and loved ones.

Compliment someone on their Captain America shirt when it was in fact the Puerto Rican flag.

Dog sledding. The dogs are cool, but half of them were all caged up going crazy.

Also, much more sh*t and pee than i anticipated.

Argue with a flat earther.

My lord, that's like arguing with a looped recording of nonsense.

Never gonna eat durian again.

I was at my friends house and her mom offered some and I tried it to be nice. I literally gagged and spit it up on a napkin like a baby.

I can still remember what it tastes like

Cook bacon naked.

Lesson learned sufficiently after only one time.

Work a concession stand at an NFL game.

If I the hear words "ultimate nachos" one more time...